Lessons in pregnancy

The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby.
Ann Romney
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pregnancy.html#MkY8cWKupHrA7Woo.99

The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby.
Ann Romney
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pregnancy.html#MkY8cWKupHrA7Woo.99

    

The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby.
Ann Romney
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pregnancy.html#MkY8cWKupHrA7Woo.99

 "The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby." - Ann Romney

       Hey everyone! Sorry for neglecting my blog for a little while, to be honest morning sickness is kicking my butt. Some days (like today) I wake up on the right side of the bed, I can keep down my prenatal vitamin and can focus on more then catching some Zzz's. Other days (like most of the month) I'm gassy, nauseous, tired and generally a Debbie downer. My mom and husband have been helping me change my attitude (my mom makes me repeat the mantra 'I'm embracing pregnancy'...it wouldn't be so silly if I wasn't holding back vomit). I have noticed something through this experience-  attitude DOES make a difference.

   
       I don't like to complain, in fact, I think that complaining can appear ungrateful and disrespectful to the gifts God has provided. I never want to seem ungrateful to God for this pregnancy, but it's hard not to whine once in a while. For those of you who don't know me well, let me give you a glimpse into my mind: I'm phobic. It's true! I've always struggled with anxiety and some of those worries have transformed themselves into little monsters. One major source of anxiety is my sickness phobia. I know that the average Joe doesn't enjoy being sick, but for me it can be a spiraling mess of self diagnosis and nightmarish images of in-curable diseases. My husband and I have a long held inside joke that I go "from 1 to 10," in other words, something that starts out small in my life can soon grow into the size of a mini volcano. Now, imagine struggling with a fear of germs and sickness, and suddenly you find your energy zapped, you're stomach resembling something like typhoon and your body in a general state of continual discomfort. It's scary! It's overwhelming! Although I expected morning sickness when Russ and I decided to get pregnant, for some reason I didn't think it would be like this. I pictured morning sickness to be a momentary session with the toilet or a plastic bag, it would come suddenly and end suddenly, and I could continue on with my day. I didn't fully grasp the notion that morning sickness could be an all day affair. That you would wake up nauseous, force yourself to eat a bland breakfast while fighting your quivering stomach, that the prescription strength prenatal that you insisted on taking would wreck havoc on your changing body, that every hour you would need to repeat the process of force feeding yourself and have to struggle to keep everything down. You'll find yourself reading about how important remaining hydrated is during pregnancy, but find that water is one of the most powerful triggers for nausea. And don't try to sleep away the pain! Morning sickness likes to wake you up sometime between 2-5am and demand that you eat. The experience quickly felt like a tsunami wave that I was stuck under, swirling me around and around until I could barely tell what was up and where was down. It's exhausting! It took my husband and mother to remind me of some very important truths about this pregnancy:

1. My morning sickness was my new normal. Once I digested this, my whole outlook on this experience changed. I was viewing my nausea and exhaustion as "sickness," which was coloring my psychology on the situation. I was too sick to eat, too sick to walk, too sick to yadda yadda ya...the truth is: I'm not sick! In fact, I think the term "morning sickness" needs to renamed, because we are not ill, it's just our body's adjusting into a home for two souls. This whole experience is normal! Once I grasped that thought I could feel the panic slipping away: there's nothing to be afraid of because I'm not ill

2. To be pregnant is to die to self. The Bible says in Luke 9:23, "And he said to [them] all, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." This pregnancy is an opportunity to do some spiritual cleaning. I kinda think it's fitting that we're given nine months to prepare to meet our child, this means I have nine months to take some good, hard looks at myself in the mirror. The nausea and exhaustion has shown me a serious weakness in my character- fear; especially fear that effects my physical well being. The Bible says that there is no love in fear (1 John 4:18). Children interpret the world through the lens their parent's give them - I want that lens to be brave, direct and honest. This is a good opportunity for me to confront my fear of illness and be self controlled, not falling into the temptation of self pity and anxiety. It's a chance to die to a clinging piece of my old self.

3. This child is fearfully and wonderfully made. God has intrusted me with the development of a beautiful, little soul. This child already has his or her life laid out before God's eyes. He knows the first time he will kick, the first word she will say, what will inspire his first steps. God knows it all. This is a time to rejoice, even when I'm in pain, because I'm given a chance to partake in a miracle, I'm a door for a human being to enter the world. How gorgeous! I guess my mom was right with making me repeat "embrace pregnancy."

      Even though I don't always feel like writing, I'm going to try and start making it more of a habit, because I do want to work through this fear and remind myself of the great joy I've been given. So, here's a question to moms and dads, did your pregnancy teach you something about yourself?