Giavonna Grace Guise

 “She was perfect. I knew this the moment she emerged from my body, white and wet and wailing. Beyond the requisite ten fingers and ten toes, the beating heart, the lungs inhaling and exhaling oxygen, my daughter knew how to scream. She knew how to make herself heard. She knew how to reach out and latch on. She knew what she needed to do to survive. I didn’t know how it was possible that such perfection could have developed within a body as flawed as my own, but when I looked into her face, I saw that it clearly was.”
― Vanessa Diffenbaugh, The Language of Flowers

Wow, it has been a LONG time since I last wrote, but between the exhaustion of the third trimester and craziness of having a three month old, I haven't been able to carve out time for writing. I'm hoping that can begin to change. Life has become an amazing adventure, and I can't wait to update you with all the exciting details!

Firstly and most importantly, my beautiful baby was born! Here's some photos of me the last month of my pregnancy:

08/23/14

08/30/14

08/31/14

To think I went into labor three days after the last picture was taken! I was definitely ready to get that show on the road, and apparently so was Giavonna =) Being nine months pregnant in August is not for the faint of heart. I would get winded and dizzy when walking from the truck into church (normally a two or three minute walk turned into at least five minutes), the New Jersey heat was literally like a bathtub, so thick you could swallow it some days. I would waddle behind my brisk husband, huffing in gulps of air, wondering if I could make it to the door or if I should just sit down in the middle of the street and take a break. Lol that would have been a sight. My husband teased that walking at my pace was torture for him, but I clung to his arm anyway, not trusting myself to make it into the air conditioned building on my own. So aside from the occasional dips in my grandmothers pool I spent my summer indoors. I missed the camping trips my husband and I would take, the concerts under the stars, going for long drives. By the end of the pregnancy I couldn't sit in a the truck very long or my sciatic nerve would start screaming, so I became a couch potato, counting down the days until my due date. Now there were some wonderful moments towards the end, like watching Giavonna dance across my belly or getting the house ready for her arrival, but overall I was antsy to meet her and completely over being pregnant.

Early labor lasted for a few days. The contractions started in my lower back, as if my back muscles were tightening into a fist and then releasing. I know that's a strange description but I can't explain it any other way. It was a deep, spasm-like pain that reached it's long fingers into my back, curled around my muscles, and then suddenly disappeared. Sometimes the contractions would be twenty minutes a part, sometimes sixty or ninety minutes a part. Sometimes they would stop altogether until the next day. Russell and I always had our timer in arms reach, so we could decipher if it was hospital time. The contractions didn't become regular until September 3rd. They were within ten to thirty minutes of each other, and I just had a feeling that it was time. Our first trip to the hospital was unsuccessful, and we were sent home undilated and with a high, soft cervix. I was so frustrated that I cried in the examination room, but the nurse encouraged me saying she believed the baby would be ready soon. So Russell, my mom and I drove back home, me still believing that my labor would progress that night. Around 10pm that night the contractions changed, and by 1am we were on our way back to the hospital, with contractions between 3 to 5 minutes a part. I was reexamined and it was discovered that I was 4cm dilated, hallelujah this baby was on her way!

The timer on Russell's phone- it was baby time!

Active labor is intense. The constant rhythm of back and pelvic pain jealously demands your concentration. I had my heart set on a natural labor, without medication, and by the grace of God I was able to experience that, but I would not have been able to get through labor without my support team, a hand held fan, and God's presence in that hospital room. The room was sterile and unfamiliar, but somehow cozy. I felt safe. I moved from the bed, to leaning against the wall, to my husband's arms, to sitting on a birthing ball, to finally settling into a rocking chair, it was the only thing that didn't transform the pain into something unbearable. My husband and I got into a rhythm, I'd whisper "fan" once a contraction started and he would hold the fan in front of my face until I slumped back against the chair, exhausted and preparing for the next contraction. Visual therapy was a constant beacon of hope to which I clung during the contractions. I would picture a white cross on top of a grassy hill or the beach a night time. Both reminded me that Christ had suffered so that we would have new life, which is what a laboring mother symbolically experiences, she suffers so that new life can burst forth into the world, so those images offered me an anchor to cling to. I knew I could get through it because He was with me. Sometimes I would mentally recite parts of Romans 5: 3-5  "3Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Labor was an intimate connection to the Lord, a quiet communion with Him. His peace coated the images in my head, His Word would repeat in my ear, He was holding Giavonna and I throughout the whole labor, and it was beautiful. Her birth will always be a precious memory for me, not only because she was finally entering the world, but also because I spent the last moments before becoming a mother in worship and communion with my Savior. I will cherish those moments. Among relying on the Lord I also practiced relaxation techniques like loosening my hands and jaw during each contraction, that way the baby could descend through my pelvis easier and my body would be in a more relaxed state. Russell would gently remind me to breathe or relax throughout the labor, being my cheerleader and constant comfort. My mom also kept close throughout the labor, relieving Russell so he could steal a snack before racing between the delivery room and the waiting room where my family and friends were anxiously awaiting Giavonna's arrival.

Back: Mom Guise, Granna and Dougie. Front: Pop Guise and Pop Ale. Everyone excited for Gia's birth!

Granna and Doug waiting for updates and pictures

A tired Pop waiting for some news

Meme keeping up with updates

And then the pushing began. It's like a tight fist pushing down, acting as a sounding trumpet to make way for the baby, it's painful but exciting. I tried pushing while on my knees, bending over the couch, but I finally made my way to the bed and began the hard work of forcing Giavonna past my tail bone and out into the world. Mom held one leg, Russell held the other, and I crunched my still huge belly while pulling my legs towards me, screaming out exhales and using muscles I didn't even know I had. Pushing lasted 1-2 hours. I was beginning to lose a lot of steam and feeling weak when the nurse took my hand and pressed it against the crown of Gia's head. I felt her long curly hair, and was renewed and ready to finish this. After a few pushes later her head completely popped out, I remember hearing the nurse, doctors, Russ and mom shouting, "Her head's out! She's out! Push again! One more time!" I gave one more hard push and felt her body slip out, the way a fish feels when it's squirming in your hand, and heard her beautiful cry. She was out. My baby was born. Russell and mom were crying over the wonder of her, and I held her warm, wet body against my chest. She was beautiful, with thick black hair and dark blue eyes. She weighed 7lbs 13 ounces and was 20 inches long. She was born at 10:16am on September 4th.

Giavonna Grace Guise

Mom and pop relaying the exciting news

The first few hours were a glorious blur. It felt surreal. My family and friends shuffled in to celebrate Gia's birth while I laid in bed, cradling my sweet newborn baby, so happy to finally be holding her and preparing for sleep. Russ had a hard time sleeping, he would jump up and check on Giavonna every time she made a noise in her sleep, hovering around his firstborn. I, however, slept like a log haha. I was exhausted and took full advantage of my sore body, only getting up to use the shower or do a short lap around the room. I had a broken tailbone, some stitches, and the standard pain of a post birthing experience, but overall I was so happy to have Gia with us. We remained in the hospital until September 6th.

Giavonna in my arms her first night

Me snuggling Giavonna on Sept 5th

Skin on skin bonding with daddy

Gia and daddy

Poppop Guise and Gia

Night night Giavonna

I can't express the joy you feel when bringing home your baby for the first time. It's a declaration that yes, this experience was real, and now everything has changed. I couldn't wait to wake up and see her snuggled up in her co-sleeper, to sing her to sleep in the rocking chair Granna and poppop bought for us, to cheer on her milestones and wipe away her tears. Stepping into the truck with my baby was like stepping into a whole new life.

It felt so wonderful to get that postpartum shower, ohhh I can still remember how wonderful that hot water felt against my tired body. 

Goodbye hospital room

Where Russ and I ate our meals

Another angle of the room

Gia's take home outfit

A nurse wheeling Gia and I out of the hospital. We're going home!!

Sleepy girl

After Gia's first bath in her home!

Daddy lovin on his baby

Mommy showered and holding her angel

And so that's the story of our wonderful baby's birth. She's healthy and growing quickly, she's already 13 weeks old! But I'll write another entry to catch everyone up on the first three months of her life. Right now I just want to end with Scripture, because I think God sums up motherhood in these words:

"Children are a gift from the Lord;
    they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3