A Letter to my Child

"To be pregnant is to be vitally alive, thoroughly woman, and distressingly inhabited.  Soul and spirit are stretched - along with body - making pregnancy a time of transition, growth, and profound beginnings."  ~Anne Christian Buchanan and Debra K. Kingsporn, The Quickening Heart: A Journal for Expectant Mothers

Dear Little One,

      I saw you for the first time this week, Wednesday to be exact. You are beautiful already. You should have seen the poor technician's face when I asked if five people could crowd into the tiny ultrasound room to have a glimpse at your being, you have an eager family waiting! Mommy and daddy wanted some time with you first, so we went in privately and then your Gigi, Popi, and Aunt Tay joined us to admire your little presence. Want to know what I saw? Let me tell you what you're like at eight weeks and four days old...

      I should tell you that I recognized you right away, the technician didn't need to point you out. You're so cute that I could laugh and cry. You literally look like a little peanut (in fact, that was the first thing Uncle Zach said when he saw your picture). You squiggled around during the ultrasound, your tiny arms and legs kicking, before you'd settle back down and rest. It makes me smile to think that you're lying on your back, just relaxing, in your petite home within me. I can't wait to take naps with you. Anyway, I didn't cry until I saw your tiny heart beating, a bright red splash of color on the black and white screen, and heard the soft pounding of your heart (170beats/minute). You suddenly became so real to me, a life kept safe within my body. Your daddy could only describe it as "surreal." He already has been showing your picture to everyone in his office; you're also the background of his phone. After the technician carefully checked to make sure you didn't have a sibling in there (your Gigi was CONVINCED that I was having twins) she invited the rest of your family to come in and see you.

      I want you to know some things...

      First off, that you are so very loved. Your Uncle Fresh wanted to come down but he was sick, that's the only reason the office wasn't more packed (and your Mommom hasn't been feeling well, so we let them skip this time). Your Great Granna has already begun buying you some beautiful books, and reading them to my tummy! Your Gigi has also been book hunting, in fact, you already have a whole series waiting for you! Daddy is always keeping me on track with eating, making sure that you have the best meals we can give you. Although we won't hold you for 7 or 8 more months, you are very much a part of this family.

      Secondly, daddy and I pray for you more then anything else in our lives. The Bible says that when Elizabeth reunited with pregnant Mary, John the Baptist leapt within her in the presence of Jesus. The Bible also says that God knits us together in the womb. I know that God's presence is with you. You are treasured by Him- He absolutely adores children. It almost makes me tear up at the thought that He is with you, even before you have taken your first breath. I love you, and I know that you are having a special connection with the Lord, as all growing babies do. Continue to grow strong, my love.



      I can't wait until we meet, and I can read this letter to you myself. We are so excited to meet you.

      Love,
      Mommy

In the Name of Smooth Skin!

"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes."Joyce Armor

      I've had this body for a long time...I've gotten used to it looking a certain way. Pregnancy is not only about a growing baby, it's also the rebirth of a woman, she goes from child to mother. There are some things about me that will never change: brown eyes, a bumped sloped to my nose, a doughnut for a chin. However, as my body starts to change, I've come to realize that a new physical identity will morph my body into something new...forever. My breasts will belong to a woman who has experienced pregnancy and nursed her child, the youth swept away from their shape. My size 6 hips will belong to someone who pushed life into this world, and may never return to their former curve. I will be different. Despite the many things I won't be able to control (like my hair texture, spider veins, or foot size), there is one thing I may be able to influence: my stretch marks. Some research has shown that women who regularly apply stretch mark cream can reduce the appearance of stretch marks (Young, G. & Jewell, D., Creams for preventing stretch marks in pregnancy). I've talked to some friends and gotten some suggestions on creams to try. Here's my criteria for the creams I'll start using: 1. effectiveness - the cream needs to be widely regarded as useful; 2. natural ingredients - the cream needs to be mostly comprised of all-natural ingredients; 3. price - money doesn't grow on trees (*groan* I already sound like a mother). 

Burts Bee Belly Butter - Mama Bee (4.3 out of 5) $16.50

from vitacost.com

It's no small task to make anything cosmetic that's 99% natural. However, Mama Bee has done just that, being comprised of a blend of cocoa, shea, and jojoba butters. I've tried Burts Bees products in the past and have been happy with them. One reviewer wrote: "I am now a week before my due date, not one stretch mark whatsoever! Love the non-greasy formula, and that scent that isn't overbearing." The only downside amongst reviewers is that the "new formula" isn't as strong as the older belly butter, they say that your skin dries out quicker.

Coconut Oil $10.00

taken from http://www.modernmom.com

 Not only is coconut oil really healthy for both mommy and baby to eat, it also helps with hydration and stretch marks. When you get out of the shower and your skin is warm and clean, rub the oil all over your belly, legs and butt. The aroma is soft and tasty, and the oil itself is 100% natural. The reviews are mixed, some people swear by coconut oil, others were still riddled with stretch marks. Some people suggested mixing coconut oil into your stretch cream, so you reap the benefits of the oil but have the extra "oomph" of the stretch cream.

Weleda Pregnancy Body Oil (4.5 out of 5) $25

This oil is packed with organic oils rich in vitamin A, C and E. Many women rated this oil as being easy to apply and having a relaxing aroma. One woman, who is pregnant with twins, said " I'm a little over 4 months now and the oil has done its job so far. I started slacking off on applying after my showers a few weeks ago and I noticed the faintest start of a stretch line on my stomach - of course I freaked out and started applying religiously again and the mark is totally gone now. I recommend this oil and am now on my second bottle!" That's a pretty strong recommendation!

Earth Mama Angel Baby Natural Stretch Oil (4.3 out of 5) $20

This oil is a bestseller on Amazon and has gotten many positive reviews. It's 100% natural and comprised of a bunch of different oils and vitamins. It's vegan, cruelty free, and toxin free. Many women commented that the oil smelled like tea, which is completely up my alley. One woman wrote that she didn't use anything until her ninth month, and when she kept using it post pregnancy almost all of her stretch marks disappeared.

      I have to think about my choice a little longer, but I'm leaning towards Weleda Pregnancy Body Oil while Russell is rooting for Earth Mama. I guess I'll review everything again tonight. For the mamas out there: did you use stretch mark cream? Do you think it worked? What type did you use?

I have been using Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter since I found out I was pregnant. I am now a week before my due date, not one stretch mark whatsoever! Love the non-greasy formula, and that the scent isn't over bearing (great for heightened sense of smell with pregnancy nose). My skin stays moisturized throughout the whole day.
Read more at http://www.burtsbees.com/Mama-Bee-Belly-Butter/01030-00,default,pd.html#SRAdZVKlWFKBLoij.99

I have been using Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter since I found out I was pregnant. I am now a week before my due date, not one stretch mark whatsoever! Love the non-greasy formula, and that the scent isn't over bearing (great for heightened sense of smell with pregnancy nose). My skin stays moisturized throughout the whole day.
Read more at http://www.burtsbees.com/Mama-Bee-Belly-Butter/01030-00,default,pd.html#SRAdZVKlWFKBLoij.99

I have been using Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter since I found out I was pregnant. I am now a week before my due date, not one stretch mark whatsoever! Love the non-greasy formula, and that the scent isn't over bearing (great for heightened sense of smell with pregnancy nose). My skin stays moisturized throughout the whole day.
Read more at http://www.burtsbees.com/Mama-Bee-Belly-Butter/01030-00,default,pd.html#SRAdZVKlWFKBLoij.99

8 Weeks Old!

“You never understand life until it grows inside of you.” Sandra Chami Kassis

      Hi everyone! I have much to discuss, with so many amazing new developments in my pregnancy! I went to the doctor earlier this week to have my first prenatal appointment and discovered that I was further along then I thought! The baby is eight weeks old!

photo taken from medicinenet.com

      That means the baby now has budding fingers and toes, knee caps, a brain with both hemispheres (and neural pathways), a heart that beats 150s/min, liver, pancreas and eyelids. The baby may even be able to sit with his/her legs in front of his/her little body AND be able to move his/her tiny limbs! Despite all this tremendous progress, the baby is only the size of a kidney bean! Incredible! It's truly mind blowing to witness how quickly a baby grows within mother's womb. It's a week-by-week event. God is amazing!

      I originally made my appointment to better understand a confusing symptom I was having: pelvic pain. It's a sharp, shooting pain that comes and goes, and it primarily effects my pelvis and groin regions. I thought that I wasn't far enough in my pregnancy to be experiencing that symptom, which is an indicator of the uterus stretching, but my practitioner informed me that some women get that symptom early and she was sure that's what I had. After discussing my symptoms we made my next appointment and I received two scripts: one for my ultrasound and the other was a blood test. I found out later from my Aunt Robin that I can find out the baby's gender via blood test, which is 99% accurate and can be taken as early as 10 weeks into the pregnancy. Russ and I are so elated to learn whether we're having a bouncy boy or a sweet girl soon.

       How did this all begin happening so fast?! I'm so excited! Here's a picture of my growing belly!

Pregnancy-friendly Vacations

“We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.” Carson McCullers

 
      I'm a nomad. I feel most at home with myself when I'm hiking through the heavy forests of New Jersey, or diving into salty waves, or in the passenger side of my husband's truck as we take another famous road trip. The air begins to stale when I'm forced to stay in one place for too long - my inner wanderer starts to pace. Obviously, this exploring spirit has to be slightly modified to accommodate my pregnancy. Trips to the grocery store can leave me straggling behind my husband, tired and cranky. Doing everyday house chores can leave me snoring on the couch. How do I feed my passion for travel while still being reasonable? I've come up with some ideas...here's my checklist of things to do and places to go when I need to feel inspired:

Cape May, NJ

      Cape May is a wonderful destination for a pregnant woman. Here's my top 3 reasons why a weekend in Cape May is just the ticket:

1. Cape May runs on a slow pace. It's a lounging, beach side town that celebrates the early 19th century with it's pastel, gingerbread houses and carriage rides. You can spend your morning enjoying breakfast by the beach, catching some rays on the sand and returning back to your hotel or B&B for an afternoon nap. There's no rush.

2. The convenient Bed and Breakfasts are the perfect accommodations for any stage of pregnancy. Whether your struggling through bouts of morning sickness in your 1st trimester or carrying an extra 30+lbs in your 3rd trimester, a stay in one of Cape May's B&Bs is a relaxing treat. If you're afraid to venture out and eat breakfast (who wants to hear you expelling your breakfast when they're trying to use the bathroom?) a B&B can serve you a home cooked meal on a breezy, wooden porch, where you can escape to your room if something doesn't sit right. You have the option of spending the day in your historical, manicured suite if you need to, or walking down the street to the markets or beach. It's a no stress option. By the way, I highly recommend The Dormer House if you're planning on staying at Cape May soon, the rooms are beautiful and the food is always delicious.

3. There's always something to do. Here's the thing about Cape May, it doesn't go to sleep when the temperature drops, there are fun experiences to be had no matter what season it is. You can enjoy the beach, go on a culinary adventure (Bella Vida Garden Cafe is excellent for vegans and carnivores alike, I also recommend The Washington Inn, the Mad Batter, and Hemingways), shop at the many local artisans stores, or stroll through their different history trails (like to the lighthouse). You can go dancing, interact with historical characters, go see a show, or enjoy one of their many different tours. Point blank: you can rest when you need to, but when you're ready to go out there's tons to see and do.

Mohonk Mountain House, NY

 

       Although I've never been to this resort, the information I've read has me buzzing with excitement. Doesn't it look beautiful?! Here are 3 reasons why I want to go:

1.  The location is breathtaking. It's nestled in the Hudson Valley, which is a beautiful area of New York. If you've never driven into the miles of NY mountains or played on their rocky beaches then you're missing out! The rooms or cottages overlook the acres of beauty God has created.

2. Top rate spa. Mohonk Mountain House has some specialty services for maternity needs, including a couples maternity massage (Russ and I are huge fans on couples massages). I would receive a maternity massage while Russ would enjoy a deep tissue massage. The spa also offers events like meditation classes, which I think will be a great help when I'm tired or anxious. 

3. There are so many adventurous, outdoor activities! There are 85 miles of trails to explore, or, if you're a tired-prone mama-to-be there's swimming in the lake, strolling through the gardens (classes about gardening are available - which sounds amazing, since one of my thumbs is green =p ), carriage tour rides and various classes (like Native American lore, tracking, and other such subjects). This is definitely some place I could see myself come summer time.

Mystic County, CT

 

       This would be another new experience for me! I've heard of Mystic County and I've been needing an excuse to go, well, here's a good one!

1. There's a bold taste of history in Mystic County. Mystic County has deep roots in America, dating back to the mid-1600's. The locals have a passion for celebrating their history (people after my own heart), so there's a long list of historical places to see. You can stop by the famous Seaport, peruse through the Florence Griswold Museum, or Olde Mistick Village (a colonial village with plenty of shops and sights) . 

2. The Bed and Breakfasts and Inns are too sweet to pass up. Accommodations dating back to the 1700's are available in Mystic. I've already discussed the luxuries of staying in a B&B in my Cape May section, but it's nice to see that the same benefit can be shared in Mystic. 

3. Mystic offers a host of things to do. As any pregnant woman can voucher, there's a time limit to things you can do. I don't have the same energy expense as un-pregnant Ashley had, I need to know that I can go out and have fun, but can also quickly escape if I need to. Mystic has some fun, no strings attached, activities to be had. You can enjoy the well-known aquarium (I love aquariums!), enjoy the Nature Art Village (like to antique? this is for you), or go watch a show. There's plenty to chose from.

The Inn at Montchanin Village, DE

      This Inn as regarded as one of the best in the country. It's conveniently located in the heart of local attractions and it's only a few hours away from home!

1. There's some bang for your buck! This gorgeous Inn, which has rooms for as low as $192, has paid pain-staking attention to the needs of their guest. Almost every room has its own courtyard and fire place, along with bathtubs and period-minded decor. Let's be frank, sitting in a truck for hours, especially while pregnant, can not only be exhausting but uncomfortable. I've recently discovered that pregnant Ashley has a touch of motion sickness. So being able to soak in a bathtub and make the most out of my room is important to me. Side note: they also have a spa that caters to maternity! Yay!

2. The surrounding activities make this trip. A deeply held tradition of Russell and I's is visiting Longwood Gardens during the month of December. It's the place where Russell proposed to me, so it's an incredibly beautiful and romantic excursion. This past December we weren't able to go, so it would be wonderful to spend a day this summer moseying through the gardens. Some other places to see would be the Delaware Art Museum, the Winterthur Museum, and Wilmington Riverfront.

3. The historical roots. Although I've discussed this a bit in point number 2, this Inn is located around many history rich places and activities. Even the rooms themselves cater to the past. 

      As you can see, there's some recurrent themes for these trips: close proximity to New Jersey, spacious living arrangement, flexibility with activities, and special detail to finding a peaceful environment. Every pregnancy is different, some women have lots of energy and vigor, while others need a few extra naps, so this list may seem too slow or way overwhelming for different pregnancies, that's fine- do you. This list will definitely be my guide to having a fantastic summer!

*I dont think I mentioned this before - unless specified (or obvious, like my face being in the picture) I did not take any of the photos in this blog. I took these photos from the internet.

Lessons in pregnancy

The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby.
Ann Romney
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pregnancy.html#MkY8cWKupHrA7Woo.99

The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby.
Ann Romney
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pregnancy.html#MkY8cWKupHrA7Woo.99

    

The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby.
Ann Romney
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pregnancy.html#MkY8cWKupHrA7Woo.99

 "The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby." - Ann Romney

       Hey everyone! Sorry for neglecting my blog for a little while, to be honest morning sickness is kicking my butt. Some days (like today) I wake up on the right side of the bed, I can keep down my prenatal vitamin and can focus on more then catching some Zzz's. Other days (like most of the month) I'm gassy, nauseous, tired and generally a Debbie downer. My mom and husband have been helping me change my attitude (my mom makes me repeat the mantra 'I'm embracing pregnancy'...it wouldn't be so silly if I wasn't holding back vomit). I have noticed something through this experience-  attitude DOES make a difference.

   
       I don't like to complain, in fact, I think that complaining can appear ungrateful and disrespectful to the gifts God has provided. I never want to seem ungrateful to God for this pregnancy, but it's hard not to whine once in a while. For those of you who don't know me well, let me give you a glimpse into my mind: I'm phobic. It's true! I've always struggled with anxiety and some of those worries have transformed themselves into little monsters. One major source of anxiety is my sickness phobia. I know that the average Joe doesn't enjoy being sick, but for me it can be a spiraling mess of self diagnosis and nightmarish images of in-curable diseases. My husband and I have a long held inside joke that I go "from 1 to 10," in other words, something that starts out small in my life can soon grow into the size of a mini volcano. Now, imagine struggling with a fear of germs and sickness, and suddenly you find your energy zapped, you're stomach resembling something like typhoon and your body in a general state of continual discomfort. It's scary! It's overwhelming! Although I expected morning sickness when Russ and I decided to get pregnant, for some reason I didn't think it would be like this. I pictured morning sickness to be a momentary session with the toilet or a plastic bag, it would come suddenly and end suddenly, and I could continue on with my day. I didn't fully grasp the notion that morning sickness could be an all day affair. That you would wake up nauseous, force yourself to eat a bland breakfast while fighting your quivering stomach, that the prescription strength prenatal that you insisted on taking would wreck havoc on your changing body, that every hour you would need to repeat the process of force feeding yourself and have to struggle to keep everything down. You'll find yourself reading about how important remaining hydrated is during pregnancy, but find that water is one of the most powerful triggers for nausea. And don't try to sleep away the pain! Morning sickness likes to wake you up sometime between 2-5am and demand that you eat. The experience quickly felt like a tsunami wave that I was stuck under, swirling me around and around until I could barely tell what was up and where was down. It's exhausting! It took my husband and mother to remind me of some very important truths about this pregnancy:

1. My morning sickness was my new normal. Once I digested this, my whole outlook on this experience changed. I was viewing my nausea and exhaustion as "sickness," which was coloring my psychology on the situation. I was too sick to eat, too sick to walk, too sick to yadda yadda ya...the truth is: I'm not sick! In fact, I think the term "morning sickness" needs to renamed, because we are not ill, it's just our body's adjusting into a home for two souls. This whole experience is normal! Once I grasped that thought I could feel the panic slipping away: there's nothing to be afraid of because I'm not ill

2. To be pregnant is to die to self. The Bible says in Luke 9:23, "And he said to [them] all, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." This pregnancy is an opportunity to do some spiritual cleaning. I kinda think it's fitting that we're given nine months to prepare to meet our child, this means I have nine months to take some good, hard looks at myself in the mirror. The nausea and exhaustion has shown me a serious weakness in my character- fear; especially fear that effects my physical well being. The Bible says that there is no love in fear (1 John 4:18). Children interpret the world through the lens their parent's give them - I want that lens to be brave, direct and honest. This is a good opportunity for me to confront my fear of illness and be self controlled, not falling into the temptation of self pity and anxiety. It's a chance to die to a clinging piece of my old self.

3. This child is fearfully and wonderfully made. God has intrusted me with the development of a beautiful, little soul. This child already has his or her life laid out before God's eyes. He knows the first time he will kick, the first word she will say, what will inspire his first steps. God knows it all. This is a time to rejoice, even when I'm in pain, because I'm given a chance to partake in a miracle, I'm a door for a human being to enter the world. How gorgeous! I guess my mom was right with making me repeat "embrace pregnancy."

      Even though I don't always feel like writing, I'm going to try and start making it more of a habit, because I do want to work through this fear and remind myself of the great joy I've been given. So, here's a question to moms and dads, did your pregnancy teach you something about yourself?

Hormones and the Flu

No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a mother’s love.
- Edwin H. Chapin

      Well, I'd love to say that I'm beyond hormones...that I laugh in the face of estrogen/progesterone surges...that I am calm and serene 100% of the time. But, then again, I'm a terrible liar. The truth is I just finished a dramatic scene of crying helplessly on my living room couch- it was even raining outside to add to the scenery. As I was curled up on the couch, tissue in hand, raindrops against the window, I thought...well, isn't this stereotypical. So, after one last blow into the tissue I straighten up and felt surprisingly better. What led to this momentary lapse of self control? I'll break it down into an equation: A sore throat and throbbing ears + being sent on a wild goose chase to find a doctor = full blown pregnancy meltdown. My primary doctor's office said to call my OBGYN, my OBGYN said to go see my primary doctor...meanwhile I'm at the mirror with a flashlight hovering over a particularly nasty looking sore at the tip of my throat....yuck! So, you can start to see the spiral of panic when I momentary think - oh my gosh, what if no one sees me! What if I'm stuck in pregnancy limbo where the OBGYN and the Dr both claim that my flu is out of their jurisdiction! Now, normal, balanced Ashley would quickly deduce that a doctor can't refuse to see me, someone would have to check out my symptoms, but hormonal, scared Ashley left crying messages on the OBGYN's phone line. *Slaps forehead* Ugh...I could go crawl under a rock at this point.

      I will say this - being pregnant and sick is really scary! Especially since this is my first pregnancy, and I'm only in my first trimester. My baby's organs are developing right now, so the idea of having any type of infection while pregnant is a terrifying realization. It also has taken a huge toll on my body, the flu on top of normal pregnancy exhaustion has made my energy levels completely wrecked. My throat and ears hurt along with my pregnancy nausea. It's a lot for one body to handle. I don't feel like I'm much use around the house...thankfully, my husband has taken that responsibility onto himself until I feel better. He makes me dinner (and breakfast the next morning), cleans up around the house, and finds time to comfort me all after an 8 hour work day and a 2 hour commute. Despite the unfamiliar territory of being ill and pregnant, I am nothing if not prepared. I've already researched what to do when your sick and pregnant and have already started loading myself up with water, water and more water. I'm also eating foods that strengthen the immune system - like kale and citrus.

Here's a list of how to fight off a flu when pregnant (whattoexpect.com):

Rest, and plenty of it
            
Water, and plenty of it
           
Lots of clear, decaffeinated liquids, such as teas and broths

Orange juice or other juices with vitamin C

Taking your prenatal vitamin, which contains vitamin C to boost your immune system and zinc to help fight off germs. And don't forget to get your vitamins and minerals the natural way — by eating food rich in nutrients. You can find vitamin C aplenty in citrus, strawberries, melon, kiwi, mango, papaya, broccoli, red cabbage, tomatoes, bell peppers, spinach, and a host of other delicious foods. Get your zinc from turkey, beef, pork, cooked oysters, yogurt, wheat germ, oatmeal, and eggs.
Eating fresh garlic — known to have virus-fighting compounds (if you can actually get it down), or using anti-viral spices such as cardamom, cinnamon, and cloves in your cooking

Humidifiers to keep the air around you moist (consider a warm mist humidifier)

Saltwater gargles to relieve sore throat pain (try one teaspoon of salt in eight ounces of warm water to get the fastest relief)

Steam inhalation or nasal lavage to relieve nasal congestion or sinus headaches (for lavage, dissolve a quarter teaspoon of salt and a tiny pinch of baking soda into eight ounces of lukewarm water, and use a nasal aspirator to irrigate — or clean — out your nasal passages)

Saline sprays to moisten your nasal passages (but make sure not to use the medicated sprays)

 *Update* I went to the doctors and have a flu. So, I've been pumping myself up with lots of water and vitamin rich foods. I don't think most people know this, but pregnant women are more susceptible to getting sick, our immune system is lowered. It's a good thing that our immune system is weaker, or else it would attack the baby. I have 2 more months of flu season to get through! Pray for me!

      I will say this - the combination of pregnancy and flu has re-taught me an old truth - God is in control. I've done my best to avoid getting sick and have been eating as healthy as possible, but the flu came anyway. I can't control the nausea, nor the ear ache, nor anything else. I've just got to pray and trust God.

A Year in Review and Our New Years Resolution

    "Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one." Brad Paisley

      Is 2013 really over? Time has just flown by! This past year has been one of the best years of my life- God has rained His blessings upon us. So many beautiful, nerve-wrecking, glorious events have happened, and I can't help but to stand in awe of who God is. I have fallen so much deeper in love with Him. How about I take you on a tour of this past year?

      Starting with the end of 2012. On December 15th, 2012, I married the love of my life. Russell isn't your run-of-the-mill guy. Russell is the type of man who leaves love notes on the bed as he's hurrying off to work, so I can read his thoughts when I wake up. He surprises me delicious, home made creations that he was secretly working on in the kitchen. Russell will wash the dishes after a long day of work, because he can see that I'm feeling overwhelmed. He's always the first one to say "I'm sorry" and he never leaves the house without a hundred "I love you's" and kisses. If I could have designed my dream man, he would have still been lost in Russell's shadow. Our wedding day was beautiful. My parents worked hard to make my wedding a dream come true, my mom at one point working 3 jobs and my step dad trucking for well over 60 hours. I didn't ask them to pay for my wedding, they just assumed that position, and denied my husband and I practically nothing. From the flowers (poinsettias and roses) to the entertainment (violinist and harpist, cigar tastings, wine tastings, art gallery, etc.) my parents made our wedding a night to remember. I'm not saying this to gloat about how perfect my wedding was, I didn't have any hand in the expenses so there's nothing for me to gloat about, I'm saying this because I can't stress enough how blessed I am by my family. My mother went through a terrible divorce years ago, but she never let that be a reason for Dougie (my brother) and I to go without. My mother is my hero. So anyway, back to my wedding story (one last I love you shout out to mommy and Dave!). We married at the historic Glen Foerd Mansion in Philadelphia on a chilly December evening. I wore a lacy, mermaid style dress with a sweetheart neck line and my family's jewelry (there's something intimate and beautiful about wearing your grandparents jewelry on your wedding day). Here's some pictures of the wedding details:

The beautiful Glen Foerd Mansion on our wedding day. Notice the garland and ribbons hanging across the porch and deck railings

The wedding bouquet my darling mother inlaw made for me. The calla lilies are Russell's favorite flowers, while roses are mine. The berries and pine celebrate the season. Isn't she creative?

Russell getting ready for the wedding. Something I love about Russ is he injects his personality into everything wears, as you can see by the socks

My beautiful wedding dress and veil

      The wedding was lovely. The aisle was framed with candles and rose peddles, the walls were glass, so we had a dazzling view of the river and pine trees outside. Our wedding party walked to the song "I Can't Help Falling Inlove with You" by Elvis. Dave crafted us a gorgeous metal canopy to say our vows under (complete with our initials). We said traditional vows and wrote our own vows. We also had a candle lighting ceremony. We kissed and raced down the aisle to the song "A Whole New World" from the Aladdin movie.

The gorgeous room where the wedding ceremony took place

A detail shot of the poinsettias and candles

Russell and I getting married!

 

       The ceremony led into the cocktail hour, which was both a time of excitement for Russ and I (we're finally married! yay!) and a time to get our nerves under check (I didn't pass out at the alter! yay!). I've gone to enough weddings to know that cocktail hour can be a drag, especially if you're one of the wedding guests who doesn't know any one else. Russ and I didn't want that for our guests, we wanted our cocktail hour to be exciting and fun! So our guests had their choice of things to do: browse through Glen Foerd's art gallery (including works from Monet), enjoy a wine tasting in the wine cellar, smoke a few cigars, listen the harpist and violinist, or just go explore the mansion. This was also the time when we took all the family photos. 

Russ and I at the entrance of the art gallery

My handsome brother, Douglas, and my beautiful grandmother, Granna

Our signature drink was the Candy Cane Martini and the photo on the right was barrel that was directing our guests to the wine cellar. 

The elegant woman in the light pink is my mother. She's surrounded by her friends in the wine cellar.

The wedding party! Starting from the left, Maura (maid-of-honor), Dougie (groomsman, brother), me, Russell, Taylor (bridesmaid, sister), Zach (groomsman, Russell's brother)

      Russ and I did something a little non-traditional and special, we had our first dance after cocktail hour and before dinner. We chose to have our dance in the spacious sitting room of the mansion. Our song was Christina Perry's "Thousand Years," and as we danced the DJ covered the floor with glowing snowflake lights. The guests made a big circle around us as we danced.

Russell's parents

My parents

 

 

     After sharing a dance I will always treasure, we sat down to a delicious meal. The guests had their choice of either pecan crusted chicken stuffed with cheese, pork topped with apples, or pumpkin gnocchi. I got the chicken, Russ got the pork. Doug and Maura gave beautiful toasts. What's neat about dining in the mansion is that different tables were spread to different rooms, it was literally like you were invited to a huge, old fashion dinner party during the turn of the century. 

The favors and table numbers. Everyone received a beautiful, hand crafted glass ornament to put on their Christmas trees. We got them from Wheaton Glass in Millville

Maura and Dougie giving their toasts. Maura was my roommate at Widener University and best friend. Dougie and I have been bffs since he popped out the womb in 1990. 

Russ and I loving the toasts

    Finally, it was time to paaaarty! Everyone filed into the glass room where the ceremony took place, which was now glittering from Christmas trees and pulsing with music. We had all the traditional dances (including the removal of the garter, which my husband did to a routine he made for "I'm Sexy and I know It" by LMFAO) and the cutting of the cake. It was an incredible night! I hope I can give my children the type of wedding my family gave to Russ and I.

Russ dancing with his mama

 

 

The removal of the garter dance, as you can see my husband's got moves! The photo on the right is the tossing of the bouquet. 

My parents dancing

      That was December 15th in a nutshell! It was filled with laughing, crying and an incredible concentration of love. The very next day we raced off to the airport to go on our honeymoon to Puerto Rico!  Russell and I had been on a few vacations together before our trip to Puerto Rico, but this was Russell's first trip out of America and both of our first experiences in the Caribbean. Our honeymoon was a breath taking array of mouth watering food, toe tapping music and an exotic ecosystem. We would love to return to Puerto Rico soon. Here's a few pictures from our beautiful honeymoon:

(above) Climbing El Morro, a colonial, Spanish fort. (below) the view from the fort and Russ with an Iguana that lived in the neighboring fort, San Cristobal.

Enjoying lunch at Raices

 The 3 pictures you see are from our food tour of Old San Juan. The bartender (above) is world renown, and showed us how to make real Mojitos. The picture on the lower left is our mojito and food samples (fish fritter, ceviche, and a sweet potato fitter) and the picture on the right is Russ having fun with one of the many masks

The three photos you see below are our exploration of the El Yunque rainforest. The waterfall was so refreshing!

The next 3 photos you see are of our snorkeling trip (a first for both of us!). Notice how blue the water is!

 

One of Russell and I's favorite things to do in Puerto Rico was explore San Juan. There is so much to do and see! The following pictures are of our travels through the streets of San Juan.

      We snorkeled, kayaked through the bio luminescent bay, explored the rainforest, ate local food and explored Old San Juan all in less then a week. It was tremendous and exhilarating. I would love to go back!

      This may seem like a lot, but everything that I've written about so far only happened in one month in 2012. Let's get a move on and start celebrating 2013.

      2013 was an emotional and spiritual year for me. Russ and re-dedicated our lives to Christ mid 2012, so 2013 we were experiencing blessings that I had only read about before. I'll start at the beginning. From January till May Russ and I had our noses to our school books, blazing through essays and exams to reach our long awaited BA in psychology. We both graduated with high grades and hopes for big future.

 We also went to our first of many concerts for 2013, a Kutless show, that also featured the band Luminate, at the Levoy in Millville. The picture below is of the audience from Luminate's perspective. We had so much fun and it sparked a fire in us for Christian concerts. We would go on to see Relient K and Willet shows.

       Our summer started with a bang, and became one sequential vacation after another. Our first stop was in the NY mountains to visit Maura on her birthday. We spent that weekend admiring a park in the mountains, swimming and trampolining at our friend Rich's house, playing volleyball with Maura's family and releasing fire lanterns into the sky. It was a lovely weekend.

Russ and Maura on the beach

I'm fierce when I play!

The fire had special chemicals in it to make it burn different colors

     On the way home from Maura's Russ and I decided to stop at one of our favorite places in the world, Gettysburg. I have been visiting Gettysburg since I was a child - seeing Gettysburg is almost like eating comfort food to me, it feels homey. I can't wait to bring my little bundle to Gettysburg one day! So many memories!

This is actually one of my favorite sites in Gettysburg, it's the first this I see when driving in!

       The highlight of our summer came in late June: CREATIONFEST!! Russell and I are music people, Russ is actually quite talented in the area of music, while I'm excellent at listening ;p Either way, music is an important part of our lives, and a passion we share. Now, combine a love for music with praise and celebration to the Lord, you've got Creationfest! It's an incredible experience! Everyday, from when you wake until you, thoroughly exhausted, crawl back into your tent, there is worship going on. Whether you like pop, rap, hardcore, metal, country or dance, you can throw your arms up to God in whatever genre gets your feet moving. Some of the bands we saw were Skillet, Newsboys, Switchfoot, David Crowder, Lecrea, and the list goes on and on. Besides the concerts, there is also an art gallery (where I spent much of my time in), lectures, comedy, tons of shopping, and a variety of foods to try. You can even do things like skateboarding and rock climbing if that interests you. Every night there is a huge, headliner concert followed by some powerful worship. I can't say enough wonderful things about Creationfest, you just have to come and see for yourself! Here's some photos of the many concerts:

The incredible drummer from Newsboys

Yes, he and his drum set is spinning

Lecrae! One of Russell's favorite musicians

Switchfoot!

Besides the tremendous music scene there were also baptisms! In fact, a man who I love so very much was baptized this past summer at Creationfest!

  
      Lastly, the nights at Creationfest were filled with worship and beauty. From communion, to a candle ceremony, to fire works, the nights were filled with celebration to the Lord.

      Ahhh, just reminiscing about Creationfest brings warm and fuzzy feelings. Anyway, continuing on! After our exciting trips in June we prepared for a whole new adventure with our friends Serena and Dave - the Pennsic War. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, the Pennsic War lasts 2 weeks during the summer, late July- early August. During that time you celebrate all things medieval. You set up camp, dress up in medieval garb, and spend the next two weeks living out life as if you were born in 1202. Russ and I only stayed for one week, but we had a great time! During the day you do things such as: whiskey tastings, shopping in one of the hundreds of merchant tents, attending a history or cooking class, learning to dance medieval dances, or watching the war take place (armies "battling"). You can spend your evening at a ball, or perhaps at one of the many camp parties, or star gazing in a big, quiet field. It's nuzzled in the beautiful PA mountains, and you really get a sense of how your ancestors may have spent an day or evening. We made some wonderful friends and learned some new crafts (Russell now sews leather). Oh yea! That reminds me, I made many of the outfits you see Russ and I wearing! Thanks to Serena and her mom, I now can use a sewing machine =)

Here are some examples of the clothes worn at pennsic:

Wearing a belly shirt was the easiest to construct, and it really helped stay cool in the blazing heat

Serena - queen of Pennsic fashion - and our guide, lucky us!

 We did all sorts of things during our week at Pennsic, here's some photos of activities we did throughout the day:

The boys working on leather

Me, Russ, Serena, Dave, and our whiskey-tasting instructor (it was a tough class =p )

I'm in the green skirt, learning how to belly dance!

Russell having an Italian dancing lesson

Russ in a drumming circle

      Like I said before, there were lots of shopping opportunities! Here's some photos of us browsing through the merchants tents.

Any Halo fans reading? =)

Dancing in the streets

Russ buying me flowers =)

      Part of the fun of Pennsic is exploring. The next batch of photos is our little group going out and exploring what Pennsic had to offer:

A belly dancer performing

 Star gazing! (I never had seen more shooting stars then that night at Pennsic)

Dave, Serena, Russ and I having fun at a camp party!

 Lastly, you could have fun in your own backyard in Pennsic. There was lots of things to do around the camp:

Getting henna on my foot

A fire dancer!

      Oh, and I can't forget one last, very special picture:

THAT'S RIGHT! A tardis was in Pennsic! Who could blame the Dr for getting a little confused on the time period?

      If you think that summed up our Pennsic vacation, think again. Russ and I made a pit stop in Pittsburgh on the way home (we had never been to Pittsburgh before). It was a really cool experience! It reminded me of a cleaner version of Philadelphia in the mountains. The whole city seemed to be sit in a mountain-lined bowl. We want to bring my parents up sometime in the future to explore.

Pittsburgh, here we come!

Lunch at the famous Primanti Brothers!

Russell, charging ahead!

Yum!

      We wandered for hours through Pittsburgh, browsing through spice shops and touring fish markets. We only had time to explore one corner of the huge city, so we can't wait to go back some time and see more!

      Before we finally arrived home, we made one more stop for dinner: a charming, 1800's restaurant called Farmer's Hope in PA. The restaurant was covered in lush gardens and bushes filled with butterflies. After reading about my wedding, and my trips to Gettysburg and Pennsic, I'm sure you can see that re-living history is an important part of my life. I guess it can be understood through the lens of 2 of my great passions: writing/reading and art. History is one long story with tons to see. Farmers Hope was so elegant and charming (and don't forget a little spooky - definitely felt a presence).

 

 

Russell pretending to rock out on an antique piano

       Still with me? Good! We just got through July. I have one more exciting vacation, and it's found in August. If it wasn't for little things like money and security, Russell and I would be nomads, traveling the world with our baby. Tasting our way through Rome, riding camels through Egypt, learning Akido in Japan! Ok, ok, I'll get back to 2013. Onwards!

      If you're from the tri-state area, there's one vacation that's always a tradition: the beach. Ever since I can remember my family has spent one week, during the summer, at the shore. Those weeks have been filled with sand, ocean, surf boards and theme parks. The mornings smell alive with Granna's popping bacon and sizzling potatoes, the living room is littered with my many baby cousins toys, and Russ and I's bedroom is always stuffed with my summer reading list. It was at the beach that I learned to fly a kite (Poppop Selfridge found great joy in inciting wonderment in his grandchildren and great grandchildren's eyes). It was also in Sea Isle that I'd dig through rocks and crevices to find crabs, star fish and sunset stained sea shells. It's a fun time to bond with family over home cooked meals, thundering fire works and the reluctant sharing of the tv remote. This past year we rented a nuns' retreat house in Sea Isle City, it's roomy and quiet. Here's are some pictures of my huge family at our beach house:

From left to right: Granny (great grandmother), Aunt Jackie, Christian (family friend), Dougie, Dave, Me, Russell, Alyssa, Uncle Greg, Johnny, Jessie, Granna, Aunt Robin, Aunt Cindy, Ben, FRONT: Kevin and Ben Jr *and think, there's some people missing from this picture!*

Poppop, Mason and Ben Jr enjoying the sand

Russell killing it at the arcade!

      Now, with all the vacations Russ and I were taking this summer you may be thinking, what else could they have possibly had time for? Well, here's your answer: we both had jobs and we were preparing for a big move! Russ and I had been living with my parents in a damp, cramped basement,  for some time, so we were ready to start looking for a new home by the end of the summer, but God had other plans. As we began searching for apartments in the area, my parents announced that they were putting their house up for sale, and they wanted us to move with them.

      Now, the idea of sharing a house with your parents may sound like a strange idea for some people, but to those people I would say - I think that taking on new debt (when you're already swamped with college loans) to be in a small home that you'll probably move out of in a few years is a stranger idea. If Russ and I worked full time at the jobs we were at and moved into a small apartment the rent and utility bills, plus our student loans, credit card debt, cost of living bills and everyday expenses would have meant depending on welfare to scrape by each month. Why would we chose that? So, we halted our plans and chose to follow our parents, we both knew that the decision we made was one coming from wisdom. It wouldn't take long before my parents stumbled across our family's dream home: a large house that had been split into a half a double. My parents could live on one side and Russ and I would live on the other. We would pay rent to my parents and begin to start chipping away at our debt. Everything about the house felt right, and I knew that this was the place God wanted us to be, but it would take a series of miraculous events to finally bring our family to the front steps of our house. One of the first trials was my mom's credit. My mom had struggled year after year to pay for everything she owned upfront, because her credit had been destroyed during her divorce. As she stood before the daunting prospect of trying to convince a bank to give her loan a bright light shone into the darkness: there had been a mistake! My mother's mangled credit score wasn't from her doing, it was a mistake that the bank had made years ago, and had never changed. So began a long process of fixing her credit score. To her aid came many dedicated accountants and advisers, who took on her case with the same veracity that they would have applied to their own loans. Next came the mountains of expenses for moving, from failing inspections that needed to be fixed to payments to help her healing credit score. Despite many anxious nights my parents were able to pay every single expense. My great aunt, Aunt Linda, played a huge role in the securing of our home. She was our real estate agent, and she had a sharp eye for the business. She talked to my mother everyday, offering advice and encouragement, inspecting our house with a fine tooth comb and negotiating with the buyers. We sold our old house at the end of September and moved into our new family home. Because my mom's credit was still climbing, the owner allowed us to rent, but if my mom couldn't produce a loan by December the house would go back on the market. We prayed and prayed to the Lord, and I had a peaceful sense that this house was ours. There was no need to fear or worry, God would provide. On October 31st, two months a head of schedule, Aunt Linda finalized the deal on my family's dream home, we officially owned our home! Sadly, the very next day Aunt Linda passed away, my mother was one of the last people she spoke to. I am so happy that I got to know my Aunt Linda better this past year. Her dedication is one of the reasons I'm recounting this story in my living room. So now you know about our miracle home! Buying this home resulted in the healing of my mother's credit, a relationship with my Aunt Linda, Russ and I could chip away at our debt, we had a home to build a family in, and it gave us the flexibility for me to be a stay at home mom. We felt God's hand in every nook and cranny of this process.

      Russ and I continued to celebrate our passion for music and God at the Uprise music festival this past September. Happily, my parents joined us! It was a lovely concert series...on the first night lol. Let me explain: After we set up our tent and explored the festival we were excited to see everything offered. Rides and activities were set up for children. Music, ministries and contests were presented on every corner of the festival. We watched Skillet, Tenth Avenue North, We As Human, We Are Leo and Capital Kings perform. The first day was a lot of fun! The second day started out well, my parents arrived and we all watched some concerts and played some contests. By the time the afternoon hit the heavens opened and the rain came down...hard. We tried to go back to our tent and wait it out, but it progressed into something angry. Our tent started to leak and our floor became soaked ( on top of that, we forgot a tarp to put under our tent, so stepping onto the tent floor sunk your foot into ankle deep water). We tried to listen to Duck Dynasty speakers Jep and Jessica, but once the rain combined with the wind we had to say uncle and pack up our water soaked tent. Thankfully, my parents generously shared their hotel room in Gettysburg with us. We spent the next day enjoying Gettysburg and having a tasty lunch.

Russell taking a rest after we set up camp

The concerts were so much fun:

Mom and Dave enjoying the music

Capital Kings shared the stage with a quick performance from Micheal Tait from the Newsboys

Skillet!

Mainstage

But alas, we had to retreat:

Can you see how wet my hair was? Lol, the hot shower at the hotel was heaven

      Many times, between September to November, I started seeing a neurologist at Virtua to try and understand my seizures. Did I have epilepsy? Is it safe to get pregnant? Do I need to be on medicine? I began a series of tests, from a day long cognition test, to a 72 hour EEG, to interview after interview. I had done most of the testing before years ago to try and understand my condition, but I wanted a second opinion. Here's a photo of my beginning with the EEG:

      Once the testings were completed and the results were finally in, my Granna drove me up to Virtua to hear the results. It was a tense session, I was prepared for the worst (a lifetime on medication and the threat of future brain damage due to epileptic seizures). To my surprise, that's not what the doctor said. He said he was 70% sure that I had non-epileptic seizures that were produced from stress. I did not need to be on medicine or worry about healthy complications due to epilepsy, and he also gave me full sails a head to get pregnant. I cried with happiness in the doctor's office and couldn't wait to announce the news to my family. This event reminds me to touch on another important life decision: I'm going to be a stay at home mom and wife for a little while. Staying at home has enabled me to take care of my home, prepare healthy, time consuming meals, focus on my art, and most importantly: manage my stress. Stress has a direct tie to my seizures, and remaining at home has given my body an opportunity to relax a little. It's a tremendous blessing. Now that I'm pregnant I can devote my full attention to my little bundle when he or she is born. Praise God!

     November flew by. We celebrated our new home by staying in on Thanksgiving and hosting a small, intimate Thanksgiving with Russ and I's parents and siblings. It was beautiful. Russell and Dave made the Thanksgiving table centerpiece, I made a Thankful tree (to hang all the things we were thankful for on as leaves), and we all worked on the tasty food. It was a beautiful night, filled with laughter, exchanging of stories, and mouth watering food.

Thanksgiving table

      Whew! We've traveled through the highlights of 2013 from January to November. Now lets finish up with the exciting and joyous month of December! So much has happened in 31 days! Let's begin with December 14th, the night before Russell and I's one year wedding anniversary. Russell had a holiday work party the 14th that we decided to go to, so my mom gave me an early Christmas gift - she paid for my hair to get done up, that way I'd feel confident meeting all Russell's coworkers. It was a great night! There was a photo booth, dancing, raffles and tons of wonderful people to meet. Russ and I had a great time. The next day Russ surprised me with a trip to Glen Foerd Mansion on our one year anniversary. We listened to live music while browsing through art we hadn't even seen on our wedding day. It was a great day.

      A week or so later, we found out I was pregnant! Yay! What a Christmas gift! After exchanging gifts with family and friends ( I received a sewing machine and a trip to Sight and Sount theater!) we announced our pregnancy and spent the rest of Christmas basking in the glow of a bright, baby filled future.

      So, now I'm left with this question: What's my New Year resolution? What promise to myself do I want to see fufilled in 2014? While I think about that, I want to share Russell's New Year resolution:

"2014 is the year to better myself. Everything I do is going to be even more significant this year. Last year I was a newlywed, which came with loving responsibilities, challenges, and perks ;-)! This year is going to kick things up a notch- I’m no longer going to be solely a husband, best friend, and lover to my wife. In 2014 I need to start my transition into 'WORLDS BEST DAD' (of course to the best of my ability). My goal for myself is to be the absolute best man I can be for my family. For Ashley (the future Mommy): I want to be more patient, caring, and nurturing to her needs as a first time pregnant mother. For Ashley (my Wifey): I want to be even more loving, romantic, and thoughtful. For my future son or daughter: I want be reliable, strong, consistent, fun, and, of course, a cool dad. My number one priority this year of 2014 is to draw my family nearer to God; I want our family to fully embrace the ideals of LOVE, HOPE, & FAITH! I want to be able to say for the rest of our lives,
 “…as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15)"

 Well, it's going to be hard to follow up that lol. But, here's my resolution:

      My New Year's resolution is a two-part deal. Part one: I want to be more socially brave. Despite my adoration for writing, talking with me can be like interacting with a church mouse lol. I'm very quiet and normally buzzing with anxiety. To help cope with my nerves I've become quite a hermit, for better and worse. I, like most introverts, find peace and satisfaction with my privacy. I don't want to change my me-time, I just want to adjust the frequency. I'd like to start following through with social obligations, start initiating texts and catching up with old friends. My goal is to widen my circle a little, work on some neglected friendships and build memories. My second deal: I want to lay a strong, faith-based foundation for this child. I want this baby to be born into a home that not only reads scripture, but follows it as well. That means more patience, less complaining, and lots of I love yous. I want my child's life to be a dedication to the Lord, and that starts by making my life a dedication. I hope everyone reading will help me do that =) Helping me can be little things, like remembering my family in your prayers, or sharing a verse with me that may encourage my spirit. If God has done something wonderful in your life, let me know! I'd love to celebrate with you!

      So, with those final words, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!