To My Valentine

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

      You know, I wouldn't be writing this blog if Russell hadn't found me almost seven years ago. I've loved him my whole adult life...let me tell you about how my heart found it's match. I was eighteen years old and, like most girls my age, I was an avid myspace user. Although we had never met, I had seen Russell's myspace profile before, he was always dating and flirting with local models (infact, he had a literal pyramid of girls he was planning on meeting plastered across his page) so he was kind of a myspace celebrity (remember those? haha). I remember the day he sent me a friend request. He had bright blue eyes and long, multicolored hair. He seemed interesting right away, his page was decorated with lyrics from bands I loved, pictures of Edgar Allen Poe and he had various shout outs to his very much adored family. I don't think more then a week went by before he reached out to me, commenting on my pictures and page. We quickly realized that there was something more to our connection then mutual attraction. We would talk on the phone about philosophy, psychology and various art disciplines. He had a soft voice that would lift a few notes higher when he was excited or happy, and he seemed to know immediately that we needed to meet. He quickly deleted the pyramid of prospective ladies and put my picture, large and bold, in the center of his page, with the promise that he would meet me soon.

Our first year together, at the Cape May Zoo

      Our first date was one of the many reasons I knew that Russell was different from anyone else I had dated. He was a man. And I was awaken to the full realization of that statement when he told me to dress up for our date. I hadn't dated a guy who took me anyplace where I needed to wear a dress or skirt, it was always either the movies, pizza, or hanging out at some friend's house. Typical highschool dates. Russell was four years older then me and purposefully set himself apart as a new, exciting adventure for my young heart. I actually remember feeling quite nervous that night as I stood in front of the mirror, dousing myself in expensive perfume. Since I had never dated someone who I had only met online, my mom and I decided to play a little trick, in the spirit of good fun. When Russ came to the door he was greeted by my forty year old mother, who introduced herself as "Ashley." I remember giggling in the hallway for a few seconds before walking out to meet him. The joke didn't seem to sink in for Russ, he just smiled and shook her hand before walking into the house, I guess he knew I existed as I was, no matter how silly my sense of humor was. When I recalled this joke to him later he said it never registered to him that she was pretending to be me, he just assumed I was named after my mother then lol. I remember how startlingly bright his blue eyes were against his pale pink skin. His eyes literally blazed with different shades of icy blues and whites. He wore a light blue button down shirt and dress pants, and his long hair was styled in a messy, rockstar type of way. He surprised my family with a bouquet of flowers for me and another for my mother (let's collectively say "aww" lol), and he wrote down his phone number and the different places we would be that night for my mother to have. His confidence, thoughtfulness, and geniality were contagious, and I found myself surprisingly comfortable next to this beautiful stranger. He opened the door to his old convertible and helped me in, and we spent the next 30 minutes driving to the restaurant laughing and getting to know each other. There weren't any awkward silences, no moments of anxiety. He just had a soft, gentle way about him, and it put me to immediate ease. We enjoyed a delicious meal at an Italian restaurant, and as I sat down at our table he smiled and said that he felt proud to be sitting with the girl that every man in the restaurant was turning to look at. He made me feel absolutely beautiful. We saw a movie together before driving back to my house. He and I sat in my kitchen and sipped on green tea and talked for another hour before he left. We would continue to date until April 8th, 2007, when he sat me down on my couch and asked me to be his girlfriend.

My highschool graduation

      Russ and I have so many beautiful memories. One anniversary he took me to the beach and surprised me with a spread of strawberries and wine. He once covered our whole bedroom (ceiling included) with love notes and somehow didn't wake me up in the process, so I awoke to all different reasons why he loved me. He even took an art history class so he and I would be able to debate on various theories and techniques. I can say, without a shadow of doubt, that my husband loves me with his whole heart, and I have always basked in that love. Whether it was one of the many mornings that I would sit at our table and watch him dance around the kitchen, with a mixing bowl of eggs and salmon in one hand and a spatula in the other, or resting my head against his warm chest as he'd laugh at one of his favorite shows, Russell feels like home. He always has.

      And so this blog post is dedicated to him. Russell, you are my heart. God has used you in so many ways to minister to my life and spirit. From the gentle way you resolve arguments to how your hand fits in mine, you have become more then a friend or romance, you have become my family. You have taught me what love looks like, and it is glowing. I am so thankful to be carrying your child, I know that this baby will have the best daddy I could ever have given him or her, and a shining example of what makes a man, which is thoughtfulness, gentleness, strength and compassion - all things that you radiate. I love you, forever and always. Happy Valentines Day.

Your wife,

Ashley Elizabeth Guise