Showing posts with label morning sickness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label morning sickness. Show all posts

Monday, January 13, 2014

Lessons in pregnancy

    
 "The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby." - Ann Romney

       Hey everyone! Sorry for neglecting my blog for a little while, to be honest morning sickness is kicking my butt. Some days (like today) I wake up on the right side of the bed, I can keep down my prenatal vitamin and can focus on more then catching some Zzz's. Other days (like most of the month) I'm gassy, nauseous, tired and generally a Debbie downer. My mom and husband have been helping me change my attitude (my mom makes me repeat the mantra 'I'm embracing pregnancy'...it wouldn't be so silly if I wasn't holding back vomit). I have noticed something through this experience-  attitude DOES make a difference.

   
       I don't like to complain, in fact, I think that complaining can appear ungrateful and disrespectful to the gifts God has provided. I never want to seem ungrateful to God for this pregnancy, but it's hard not to whine once in a while. For those of you who don't know me well, let me give you a glimpse into my mind: I'm phobic. It's true! I've always struggled with anxiety and some of those worries have transformed themselves into little monsters. One major source of anxiety is my sickness phobia. I know that the average Joe doesn't enjoy being sick, but for me it can be a spiraling mess of self diagnosis and nightmarish images of in-curable diseases. My husband and I have a long held inside joke that I go "from 1 to 10," in other words, something that starts out small in my life can soon grow into the size of a mini volcano. Now, imagine struggling with a fear of germs and sickness, and suddenly you find your energy zapped, you're stomach resembling something like typhoon and your body in a general state of continual discomfort. It's scary! It's overwhelming! Although I expected morning sickness when Russ and I decided to get pregnant, for some reason I didn't think it would be like this. I pictured morning sickness to be a momentary session with the toilet or a plastic bag, it would come suddenly and end suddenly, and I could continue on with my day. I didn't fully grasp the notion that morning sickness could be an all day affair. That you would wake up nauseous, force yourself to eat a bland breakfast while fighting your quivering stomach, that the prescription strength prenatal that you insisted on taking would wreck havoc on your changing body, that every hour you would need to repeat the process of force feeding yourself and have to struggle to keep everything down. You'll find yourself reading about how important remaining hydrated is during pregnancy, but find that water is one of the most powerful triggers for nausea. And don't try to sleep away the pain! Morning sickness likes to wake you up sometime between 2-5am and demand that you eat. The experience quickly felt like a tsunami wave that I was stuck under, swirling me around and around until I could barely tell what was up and where was down. It's exhausting! It took my husband and mother to remind me of some very important truths about this pregnancy:

1. My morning sickness was my new normal. Once I digested this, my whole outlook on this experience changed. I was viewing my nausea and exhaustion as "sickness," which was coloring my psychology on the situation. I was too sick to eat, too sick to walk, too sick to yadda yadda ya...the truth is: I'm not sick! In fact, I think the term "morning sickness" needs to renamed, because we are not ill, it's just our body's adjusting into a home for two souls. This whole experience is normal! Once I grasped that thought I could feel the panic slipping away: there's nothing to be afraid of because I'm not ill

2. To be pregnant is to die to self. The Bible says in Luke 9:23, "And he said to [them] all, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." This pregnancy is an opportunity to do some spiritual cleaning. I kinda think it's fitting that we're given nine months to prepare to meet our child, this means I have nine months to take some good, hard looks at myself in the mirror. The nausea and exhaustion has shown me a serious weakness in my character- fear; especially fear that effects my physical well being. The Bible says that there is no love in fear (1 John 4:18). Children interpret the world through the lens their parent's give them - I want that lens to be brave, direct and honest. This is a good opportunity for me to confront my fear of illness and be self controlled, not falling into the temptation of self pity and anxiety. It's a chance to die to a clinging piece of my old self.

3. This child is fearfully and wonderfully made. God has intrusted me with the development of a beautiful, little soul. This child already has his or her life laid out before God's eyes. He knows the first time he will kick, the first word she will say, what will inspire his first steps. God knows it all. This is a time to rejoice, even when I'm in pain, because I'm given a chance to partake in a miracle, I'm a door for a human being to enter the world. How gorgeous! I guess my mom was right with making me repeat "embrace pregnancy."


      Even though I don't always feel like writing, I'm going to try and start making it more of a habit, because I do want to work through this fear and remind myself of the great joy I've been given. So, here's a question to moms and dads, did your pregnancy teach you something about yourself?
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Saturday, December 28, 2013

Gurgle Here, Cramp There


     "Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy and complaining about the shadow over my feet, I'd have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle."  ~Erma Bombeck, If I Had My Life to Live Over

      Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. The Bible says that "children are a gift from the Lord," Psalm 127:3, and that's absolutely true. Ever since Russell and I started trying to conceive a child I have been praying over the process. Thankfully, God answered our prayers quickly, and within one month of us trying I became pregnant! As incredibly thankful I am to begin this journey and as excited I am to one day meet my little bundle, I am surprised by the types of pregnancy symptoms I'm experiencing. For only being about 2 weeks pregnant, I'm having some strong symptoms! I guess now would be a great opportunity to share when and how I knew I was pregnant.

      I don't remember when the nausea started, I'd say a week or two before I tested positive for my pregnancy, but that was my first hint. As any pregnant woman can voucher, the nausea experienced  isn't like your "normal" bout of nausea. It's a seasick-like feeling - a fleeting, fluttering nausea that sometimes goes away as quickly as it came, sometimes hovering around you like a bloated house fly, or it sends you racing to the bathroom. I haven't needed to throw up yet (yay!) but I'm not holding my breath that it will remain that way. My mother said her nausea hit her like a brick in the middle of the night, waking her from her dreams and sending her running to the bathroom. Another early symptom was my breasts. They became swollen, tender and full. Russell actually noticed the size difference before I did (is that surprising? lol) and I figured I had either gained weight (my appetite had also changed; I was always feeling hungry) or I was pregnant. I took a pregnancy test and it came up negative, so I figured the nausea must be a winter bug and the tenderness must be from gaining weight. When the week of my period came and I still hadn't seen Aunt Flo by Tuesday, December 24th, I decided it was time to take a second test. Something felt different this time. Maybe it was the fact that Russell was home, getting ready for work, while I was taking this test; or perhaps it was the peace from God that I knew this test was going to be different - but I had a settled feeling that I was pregnant when I took that test, and sure enough my eyes grew to happy saucers when I saw the wonderful "2nd red line." That day I went to the ShopRite clinic to verify the pregnancy (getting into my dr office on Christmas Eve without an appointment? Yea, right). Russell and I surprised our parents with the Pregnancy Confirmation papers in their Christmas cards after exchanging gifts on the 25th. This past Christmas was probably the best Christmas I've ever had <3.    

      Since then my symptoms have grown. I'm ALWAYS tired. It doesn't matter how long I sleep that night - I'm still exhausted by noon! This isn't the type of exhaustion that goes away with a nap, sometimes a nap exacerbates the sleepiness, making me feel spacy when I wake up. Although I can have one cup of coffee a day without it effecting the baby, I still don't feel very comfortable drinking it. So if I need extra energy I normally sniff out something yummy to eat. Which leads me to my next symptoms: acid reflux and cramping. The cramping can get pretty serious, ranging from mild discomfort to feeling like I have my period (without any blood thankfully). It's normally in my thighs and abdomen. The cramping typically lasts all day. I don't know about you, but before I was pregnant I had never heard of menstrual-like cramping as a pregnancy symptom, so when the cramps continued it was a little scary because I didn't know if it was normal. My meme (paternal grandmother) said her cramps were awful and lasted through her whole pregnancy. Along with the cramping is another new experience - acid reflux. I used to be treated for acid reflux as a child, but I haven't had it for years. As gross as this is - that "burp of vomit" that is a classic sign of acid reflux has now become routine at night time when I'm lounging on the couch. I've had a few scary episodes of acid reflux after eating certain foods, where I get such terrible cramps that I have to lie down and wait until the attack is over. When the bout has passed my legs feel shaky and exhausted. This normally happens after eating really salty or fatty foods, like pretzels or cake.

     I'm so so grateful for this beautiful pregnancy; God has answered our prayers...and quickly! As annoying, painful or scary some of these symptoms can be - I'd rather have symptoms and be assured of a healthy, growing baby then to have none and worry that the baby's not progressing. Besides...fuller boobs are nothing to complain about =). I think the quote at the top of the page sums up how I feel: I don't want to obsess over the bothersome symptoms of pregnancy, I want to celebrate the beauty of the change! I think it's important to talk about the changes your body is experiencing, but don't get stuck there.

      Here's some questions for the pregnant mamas out there: did you have symptoms early in the pregnancy? Were any of the symptoms unexpected?
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